Nerdy, never scared...

Charlie Brown Musical Junior Year from left to right is Peppermint Patty, Charlie Brown, Snoopy {me!}, Lucy, Linus w/ the blanket, and Schroeder

This past weekend I went to my sister's high school graduation.

the walls of my high school seemed like strangers to me.

my locker was gone.

the cafeteria was completely different.

my band room was gone...

gone.

just completely gone 

with some other building partially covering the spot where it use to be.

so many of my high school memories where in that room...or I guess rooms would be more accurate.

maybe you didn't know this about me 

but in high school I was a nerd

drama club president

singer of the National Anthem,

pretend player of the piccolo,

drum line groupie,

 I say nerd proudly

drama club, chorus, band, musicals, plays

I was all about it

we had our own world in high school 

it's not like we were staring at the athletic kids in school thinking

why can't that be me????

my friends were interesting and different.

they enjoyed new things,

 and music, 

and debating, 

the band room was our Friend's coffee house, if you will

that was the place where I ate lunch, 

spent my study halls,

became best friends with my high school boyfriend...

it makes me sad to think that the place where I first heard Les Mis

is just gone

but it got me thinking about Charlie

my baby, not the comic book character picture above : )

We come from a small town

soon we will live in an even smaller town

sports are everything

my husband was kind of a high school sports stud

football,

basketball,

track,

he played them all

everyone keeps on trying to predict what sports Charlie is going to play

but I just stay quiet

and let them speculate

but inside sometimes I think

what if she takes after me?!?

will people be disappointed

or try to change her mind

because I am just one person

how much influence will I really have

and I don't want to be the mom forcing her own likes on her child

but deep down

part of me wants her to be a nerd

like me

I think most parents want that 

at least a little bit, deep down inside

and nerds are strong

they learn to be different and to be ok with that

nerdy, never scared.

that's my motto {stolen from my sister}

nerds tend to wait on the more adult things like sex

and drinking

it's a little more sheltered existence  

nerds more prone to nights of playing Super Smash Brothers

and watching old episodes of SNL

then breaking curfew 

or other kinds of debauchery 

I think what I want most for Charlie to know

is that it's ok

whatever she chooses to be

it will be ok

that high school is just one part of life

nerd

or 

athlete

it doesn't really matter

I just want her to be a good person

to treat people, even those different then her, with kindness

and respect

and if she just so happens to do so while singing Annie

then that's just a bonus

*This is a story for those of you who went to high school with me & ryan:  

One day I was looking for something in my basement when I came across something unusual.  It was a large wooden bat.  It was from the Charlie Brown musical which was especially peculiar because Ryan didn't even see the musical in high school {yeah he was one of those that got someone else to sign his program for the extra credit- YES THEY GAVE EXTRA CREDIT TO SEE PLAYS AND MUSICALS- don't even get me started on that one.  Give me some freakin' extra credit to watch a freakin' basketball game then...} anyways, I walk upstairs with the bat and this conversation takes place

Ryan looks at it and exclaims

"do you know what that is?!"

I look at Ryan

"do YOU know what this is???"

"yeah it's a bat we stole to use to paddle the freshman football players!"

me

"......"

me again

"It's the BASEBALL bat from one of my scenes in the Charlie Brown Musical."

Ryan

"haha, oh yeah we stole it from back stage."

Me

"I can't believe I married you."