How a Hostess snack saved my life {A True Story}...

Hostess Cupcake with milk Image source

Yes.

You read that right.

A Hostess cupcake snack

once saved this girl

from near starvation

and dying out in the wilderness

from exposure...

Ok.

I may be exaggerating a tad bit.

But 

we really were lost,

and it really was getting dark!

Here,

I'll explain...

See,

it all started when me

and my guy pals

decided to go to Turkey Run

to hike.

I was getting ready to move to New York

and we were having one last hurrah.

We played on the swings.

We hiked the trails.

We threw shoes into the freezing cold river

to see who was brave enough to retrieve them.

We were young and easily amused-

what can I say?

It 

was such a fun day.

One of the those "best days"

that you remember forever

and it's probably way better in your head 

then what actually went down

but it doesn't really matter 

cause it's the memory that really matters,

isn't it?

There were four of us.

Thomas.

Blake.

And my best guy friend- Jesse.

Thomas and Blake started to wander ahead on the trail,

leaving little clues

{like an arrow made from twigs}

as to which direction they were going.

It was getting to be late afternoon 

and the days were getting shorter.

It was going to be dark soon.

Suddenly we were no longer finding

the "signs".

We must have misinterpreted 

some rocks or something

but all that really matters

is that me and Jesse,

we were lost.

I felt like we had been walking for miles.

I was starting to get whiny

and if you know me at all,

you know that whiny Ashley

is not fun Ashley.

At first I could tell Jesse thought we would eventually catch up to the others

no big deal.

But as it got later and later

and no sign of the boys

or the car

or the end of the trail

were ANYWHERE 

to be seen.

I was starting to panic.

I was really hungry.

Really,

really,

really,

really,

HUNGRY.

Did I mention I am annoying when

I am hungry?

or uncomfortable,

or irritated?

I can be annoying.

Ask anyone,

if there is something that I pride myself in

it is my ability to be annoying.

Side Note:

you can choose to skip this part if you just want to get to the Hostess part.

This will paint a picture of how annoying I am...

One day I was watching the Discovery channel.

There were a bunch of otters,

just chillin' on the banks of the river

when suddenly a crocodile was sneaking up.

But don't worry,

this story has a happy ending-

those otters knew what was up!

They all packed together

and they started to mess with the croc!

They splashed him,

and jumped on him,

and taunted him.

Together,

they annoyed the crocodile away.

It was a turning point in my life,

I was an otter.

But I didn't have a pack.

I was a lone otter.

Annoying the crap out of all who got in my way.

: )

Back to the story...

Where was I?

Oh yes,

we were lost.

I cannot begin to describe

 how hungry I was at this point.

My stomach felt like it was starting to eat itself.

All I could think about were yummy things to eat,

like spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy's

or a Reuben from Arby's.

What?

I was 19-

I ate a lot of junk food.

Just when Jesse was probably about to stab his own eyes out

if I said one more time 

HOW

HUNGRY

I

WAS...

I spotted it...

-there in the distant path ahead of us

I saw something.

What was it?

I couldn't quite see.

As we got closer

my heart started to pound,

could this be salvation

in a small plastic package?

It was indeed.

A Hostess Cupcake!

Hot dog!

I snatch it up like

cast member of Survivor

and ate it before I could even have the moral obligation to share.

I'm sorry Jesse.

Sorry, I'm not sorry!

It was my primal instinct going into survival mode.

Who knew if we would ever get off this dang trail?

Who knew if we would eat again?

I wasn't going to make it to New York.

I was going to die out on that trail

and if I was going to die

then I was sure as heck

gonna enjoy my last supper!

Thankfully,

Jesse is a great friend

and he didn't judge my stuffing of my face with cupcake

and not sharing with him.

That's when you know you have a good friend,

when they let you eat the last Hostess Cupcake 

that either of you could ever see

ever.

again.

Luckily,

like the otters,

this story has a happy ending.

We did eventually make it out of the woods. 

We found Blake and Thomas

and then they got me dinner

at an all you can eat buffet.

Heaven.

I did get thrown into a pool-

not the river, 

a pool

but that is a story for another day...