How a Hostess snack saved my life {A True Story}...

Hostess Cupcake with milk Image source

You read that right.
A Hostess cupcake snack
once saved this girl
from near starvation
and dying out in the wilderness
from exposure...

I may be exaggerating a tad bit.
we really were lost,
and it really was getting dark!
I'll explain...

it all started when me
and my guy pals
decided to go to Turkey Run
to hike.

I was getting ready to move to New York
and we were having one last hurrah.
We played on the swings.
We hiked the trails.
We threw shoes into the freezing cold river
to see who was brave enough to retrieve them.
We were young and easily amused-
what can I say?

was such a fun day.
One of the those "best days"
that you remember forever
and it's probably way better in your head 
then what actually went down
but it doesn't really matter 
cause it's the memory that really matters,
isn't it?

There were four of us.
And my best guy friend- Jesse.
Thomas and Blake started to wander ahead on the trail,
leaving little clues
{like an arrow made from twigs}
as to which direction they were going.
It was getting to be late afternoon 
and the days were getting shorter.
It was going to be dark soon.
Suddenly we were no longer finding
the "signs".
We must have misinterpreted 
some rocks or something
but all that really matters
is that me and Jesse,
we were lost.

I felt like we had been walking for miles.
I was starting to get whiny
and if you know me at all,
you know that whiny Ashley
is not fun Ashley.
At first I could tell Jesse thought we would eventually catch up to the others
no big deal.
But as it got later and later
and no sign of the boys
or the car
or the end of the trail
to be seen.

I was starting to panic.
I was really hungry.
Did I mention I am annoying when
I am hungry?
or uncomfortable,
or irritated?
I can be annoying.
Ask anyone,
if there is something that I pride myself in
it is my ability to be annoying.

Side Note:
you can choose to skip this part if you just want to get to the Hostess part.
This will paint a picture of how annoying I am...

One day I was watching the Discovery channel.
There were a bunch of otters,
just chillin' on the banks of the river
when suddenly a crocodile was sneaking up.
But don't worry,
this story has a happy ending-
those otters knew what was up!
They all packed together
and they started to mess with the croc!
They splashed him,
and jumped on him,
and taunted him.
they annoyed the crocodile away.
It was a turning point in my life,
I was an otter.
But I didn't have a pack.
I was a lone otter.
Annoying the crap out of all who got in my way.
: )

Back to the story...
Where was I?

Oh yes,
we were lost.
I cannot begin to describe
 how hungry I was at this point.
My stomach felt like it was starting to eat itself.
All I could think about were yummy things to eat,
like spicy chicken sandwiches from Wendy's
or a Reuben from Arby's.
I was 19-
I ate a lot of junk food.

Just when Jesse was probably about to stab his own eyes out
if I said one more time 
I spotted it...
-there in the distant path ahead of us
I saw something.
What was it?
I couldn't quite see.
As we got closer
my heart started to pound,
could this be salvation
in a small plastic package?
It was indeed.

A Hostess Cupcake!
Hot dog!
I snatch it up like
cast member of Survivor
and ate it before I could even have the moral obligation to share.
I'm sorry Jesse.
Sorry, I'm not sorry!
It was my primal instinct going into survival mode.
Who knew if we would ever get off this dang trail?
Who knew if we would eat again?
I wasn't going to make it to New York.
I was going to die out on that trail
and if I was going to die
then I was sure as heck
gonna enjoy my last supper!

Jesse is a great friend
and he didn't judge my stuffing of my face with cupcake
and not sharing with him.
That's when you know you have a good friend,
when they let you eat the last Hostess Cupcake 
that either of you could ever see

like the otters,
this story has a happy ending.
We did eventually make it out of the woods. 
We found Blake and Thomas
and then they got me dinner
at an all you can eat buffet.

I did get thrown into a pool-
not the river, 
a pool
but that is a story for another day...

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